How to plan an original wedding

Whether you want to plan the wedding of the century, or you just want your big day to be a little different from what your mates have planned, it’s not that hard to be original when it comes to your wedding - you just need to get creative.

Why throw an original wedding? I attend dozens of weddings each year as a photographer, and that means that at least half of those will be carbon copies of each other. I have to make sure that I keep a note of the date, or I might think that I’ve accidentally taken a long nap and woken up at the same wedding. Your guests probably won’t ever attend as many weddings as I do, but even three identikit weddings in one year can render each one completely forgettable. Imagine the embarrassment when your BFF can’t remember if she saw a page boy wrangling a herd of goats during the vows at your barn wedding, or her colleague’s? A truly unique wedding will remain in your guests’ memories for a lifetime - as well as yours.

What is an original wedding, though? We talk about ‘mainstream’ and ‘alternative’ weddings as if they’re black and white, but the truth is, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to originality - that’s what’s so great about it. However, there is just one rule to remember when planning your wedding: make it about you. This is your day, therefore, it should feel natural to you, not your Instagram followers, as seems to be the case these days. Your friends and family should arrive at your venue and know instantly that it’s your wedding, not think that they’ve crashed someone else’s big day.

I’ve wrangled a herd of my own for this blog post - but not goats (sadly). Instead, I’ve contacted the best of the region’s wedding suppliers and ask for their opinion on how to bring originality to the table on a wedding day. So, without further ado, let’s look at each element of your wedding and find out how to put your own spin on the celebration!

Photography

‘Wait a minute,’ you’re thinking. ‘He can’t talk about himself!’

Well, you’re wrong. This is my blog and I’ll cry if I want to. Before you tuck into this blog post, I’m going to set the record straight when it comes to wedding photography. 

Wherever you’re getting married, there will probably be a range of photographers in your area with varying styles. You may already know what you’re looking for, and think it’s just a case of scrolling through portfolios until you find a photographer who fits your vision; however, just remember that the photographer themselves is a real person, with quirks, a personality and, indeed, their own vision. This means that, though you might like their style, it may become apparent that you don’t mesh with them in person - and if this is the case, you won’t want them following you around all day at your wedding and interacting with your nearest and dearest.

As you may not be able to meet up with each and every wedding photographer you come across and interrogate them until you’re satisfied, the short way of finding your photographer is to read the ‘about’ section of their website. This will likely include some information about their style and their experience, and give you some insight as to who they are as a person. 

My ‘about’ page, for example, talks about how I got into photography at the age of nine and how I carry myself at weddings. There’s no denying that I bring personality to a wedding day, as well as really unique images which showcase who ‘you’ are, so I like to make that apparent in my biography.

Venue

The team at Bruisyard Hall, a magnificent, historic country estate and wedding venue in Suffolk, say that “every wedding should start with the bride and groom’s tastes, wishes and dreams. The venue should suit the couple's character and be somewhere they really feel at home. We believe that if you feel at home somewhere you will be more expressive and instinctively know how to personalise the venue.”

I couldn’t agree more. When buying a house, we spend plenty of time finding the right property that ‘feels like home’, that we should know instantaneously when a wedding venue feels just right. Again, you may already have an idea of the kind of venue you like; but a bit like attending a property viewing, you might arrive and realise that it wasn’t what you thought it would feel like. It’s important to pay attention to that instinct, instead of ignoring it and focusing on the fact that it might look nice in your photos. If you feel awkward or uncomfortable in your venue, it’s going to show on the day.

The experts at Bruisyard continue, explaining, “To make a wedding original it has to be about you, with perhaps a touch of inspiration from social media and those amazing photos found in the first wedding magazine you bought!” 

Instagram, Pinterest and wedding magazines exist to share and inspire, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t take advantage of them. Perhaps you might come across a post that your friend has shared, advertising a wedding venue that you never knew existed - you would have been none the wiser if you didn’t search for a little inspiration! What you then decide to do with that inspiration is where the originality and personality comes in, and as Bruisyard Hall reiterates, your wedding has to be about you.

The cake

How many weddings have you been to where the bride and groom spend an extortionate amount on a cake, which never gets eaten? It happens a lot more than you think. Mostly because, by the time the wedding breakfast is over, the vows have been said and the music has started, most of your guests are thinking about which wine they’re going to have next - and cake doesn’t quite go with wine. But do you know what does? Cheese.

A cheese wedding cake is a delicious alternative to a traditional cake. Just ask Clare Jackson from Suffolk-based cheese deli Slate Cheese: “Cheese wedding cakes look amazing when they’re decorated and create a magnificent centrepiece. They present a delicious spread of artisan cheese once the cake has been disassembled. They are also an economic way of providing a second wave of food; they can be used as a centrepiece for a traditional evening buffet to provide lots of energy for dancing into the night, or as part of the main meal with accompaniments such as bread, crackers, condiments and fruit.”

There are two ways that you can create a really unique arrangement with a cheese wedding cake. One is by decorating the cake to match the theme of the wedding using colourful ribbons, flowers and herbs, or even quirky toppings and surrounds. The other hugely important way to personalise your wedding cheese cake is in the choice of cheese; you could pick your favourite cheeses or those which have a certain significance to your relationship.”

You can tweak your cheese selection to not only suit your tastes, but also to cater to guests dietary requirements. You can select pasteurised or unpasteurised cheeses, vegetarian and non-vegetarian.”

Examples of Slate’s wedding cheese cakes can be found on their website. They have three set cakes which can be dispatched by courier nationwide, or you can opt for a bespoke design which can be delivered and assembled by one of their team if your wedding is based in Suffolk, where Slate’s delis are based.

Theme

“What colour napkins should we go for?” a jaded bride-to-be asks her other-half on yet another late night, months before their wedding, surrounded by samples of cloth which all appear to be the same shade of beige. He shrugs and promptly falls asleep, before having a nightmare about a beige coloured monster forcing him to eat beige food in a beige room, wearing beige clothes, for the rest of his life.

Sound familiar? Probably not. But it’s a glimpse of what could happen if you decide to follow the same old wedding trends that we see time and time again. The truth is, many weddings fall into the colour scheme of beige, cream and off-white because these hues don’t really age, and they can be paired with almost any other colour without causing too much of a headache. But this also means that they’re sensible - and who wants a sensible wedding? No one has ever recalled a wedding and said, ‘we had a fantastic time; it was very sensible!’.

If you’re thinking about your wedding theme, why not take that term literally and opt for a real theme? I’d be ecstatic to photograph a Star Wars-themed wedding. I’d even glue a couple of Belgian buns to the sides of my head if someone lent me their gold bikini. No takers?

Flowers

Following Meghan and Harry’s wedding (and in the years following almost every royal wedding) there were insurmountable brides who chose a natural-looking white and green bouquet for their own wedding days. While these bouquets did well to make up for the ten-tonne trail of froth that Diana dragged down the aisle (nothing against Lady Di - just her flowers), the style doesn’t have to be adopted by every other bride in England, especially keeping in mind that each specific flower has a link to Kate/Meghan and the Royal Family.

Instead of treating your bouquet like the latest handbag/phone/car (delete as appropriate) that everyone wants to get their hands on, try to think like a royal instead of act like one, and choose flowers which suit your personality, represent your family, or have significant value in your relationship. 

Again, I think the ‘many shades of beige’ rule applies here. Don’t just choose a bouquet because it goes with your theme - unless, of course, you are indeed opting for the Star Wars theme and manage to find flowers that look like the various members of the cast. If your favourite flower happens to be a purple rose, but you’re worried that it will contrast with your decor, just remember - the only person that will care about that clash is you! Nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to stop and think, ‘she should’ve picked flowers which were a couple of shades lighter’ as they watch you walk down the aisle. So if you want to include that purple rose that means so much to you, just do it.

The DIY route

If you don’t want to spend all that money on flowers, you could try making your own bouquet using crepe paper or other materials. This means that you’ll save yourself the added cost of a freshly arranged bouquet of flowers, and you can even keep your bouquet for years to come.

What about making a statement and crafting your own bouquet from pieces of recycled plastic to show your love for the environment? Or collecting flowers from your garden and drying them out to produce a really unique dried flower arrangement? The DIY possibilities are endless.

Other wedding flowers

Of course, your bouquet probably isn’t the only bunch of flowers you’ll have to think about for your big day. Many couples choose to have flowers as part of their decorations, too. Depending on your budget, you could opt for a huge display of your chosen blooms as a wedding arch, or set up a flower wall, table centrepieces, wreaths, and more. 

But why stop at just flowers? Guests are used to seeing flowers at weddings, but you’re sure to get a few double takes if you include other unique elements in your flower arrangements. From the simple (fruits, pearls, ribbons), to the eye-catching (marshmallows, seashells, disco balls), to the downright outrageous, grandma-scaring floral arrangements (fake rattlesnakes, aubergine emojis, and even underwear), I’ve seen a few corkers in my time. While the former tend to blend together, I’ve never forgotten asking a Gen-Z bride why there were aubergines in a floral centrepiece, only to be told that I should send one to my wife and find out (P.S. the wife was not amused).

What to wear

Bridal wear

Although many of us might believe that brides have worn white since the invention of marriage, that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the white wedding dress trend is just under 200 years old. It came from Queen Victoria, who wore white to wed Prince Albert - but she didn’t wear it to symbolise purity and virginity as we might have thought. She actually wore white because she liked white. 

This brings me to my main point - you don’t have to wear a white dress to your wedding. Sure, if you really like white, and it suits you, and you don’t care about the possibility of staining it during your wedding breakfast, then by all means, wear white. However, if you don’t like the thought of wearing this traditional wedding dress shade, then no one should be forcing you to. 

Before Queen Victoria’s wedding, many women wore their nicest dress, whether it was green, pink, blue, white, or whatever colour they fancied. Some even wore patterned dresses (could you imagine the uproar?!). So why not restart the trend and choose a colour that you love, that suits you, and that will make you feel like a million pounds? Or wear a suit. But that’s a whole other post.

Groomswear

Ah, poor grooms. We’re a little limited in how much we can experiment in terms of wedding clothing. Suits are the name of the game, and sadly, there’s not a lot to choose from. That being said, there’s far more scope for variety if you look further afield than wedding shops. 

Instead of heading straight for the nearest wedding suit rental company, shop around for something more unique. After all, many will only stock certain colours. There’s the traditional black shade, the more contemporary navy or grey, or, for a summer wedding, beige. That’s about it. 

Of course, if you want to play it safe with the colour for fear of upsetting your mother-in-law to be, there are other ways you can incorporate your own personality into your wedding outfit. And I’m not just talking waistcoat and bowtie dilemmas. 

What about a top hat? They’re rarely seen these days, and they do look rather splendid with a tailcoat. Then there’s the boutonniere - the tiny flower arrangement that is pinned to your left lapel. And of course, jewellery. Whether you wear an earring or several, a chain, a wristwatch, or a face piercing, your wedding day is a chance to treat yourself to something a little more exciting and unique.

Music

Once the ceremony is over, there’s nothing your guests will love more than a good, old-fashioned party. Some will run to the dancefloor at the first beat of the Macarena, while others will shudder in anguish; either way, you’re never going to please everyone, so you may as well have fun with your music.

However, the age-old dilemma is: should you hire a band or a DJ? There are pros and cons to both, but typically wedding bands are more likely to be chosen as an expression of the kind of music that you like, while wedding DJs are usually hired to play a selection of music that will suit as many people as possible.

There are many different types of wedding bands available, covering a whole range of genres, from electro-swing to motown, and everything in between. However, be aware that although a vast range of genres are on offer, a single band will most likely specialise in one type of music, which can be limiting if you like lots of different styles.

Bands are more of a ‘showy’ choice of wedding music, simply because they tend to cost more, but they certainly give you a tonne of benefits for your money, including live vocals and/or instruments and a realistic, personable stage presence. If you’re looking for that from a DJ, you’ll possibly have to pay a lot more.

On the plus side, whatever your budget, DJs are armed with thousands of songs. Some may also take requests, which is perfect if you’re happy for your great aunt to request Build Me Up Buttercup. A more skilled DJ will be able to display their professional mixing abilities, affording you the choice to turn your wedding reception into a full-on Ibiza rave (if you so wish).

So, which option will give your wedding an original touch? How about both? Some DJs partner with live performers, from singers to saxophonists, to give you and your guests the best of both worlds. A unique solution to that age-old dilemma!

Conclusion

I could say that it’s easier to follow the trends and go for the same wedding options that thousands of other brides and grooms will have chosen - but it’s not. It’s so much easier to plan your big day how you would really like it to look and feel; the knack is to pinpoint what you’re passionate about and what best represents your love. From that point, it’s plain sailing.

And if you do fancy a Star Wars-themed wedding, I’ll be here waiting.